Sad Things and Good Things

Hey y'all! I hope you all had a good week! Here's a little story, from me to you. :)

Some weeks are great; awesome things just happen, smiling becomes constant, and spirits are joyous. Other weeks are not.

This was a tough week.

It was Monday night. I excitedly approached my Dad to talk to him all about the amazing book I had finished that morning (Anthem by Ayn Rand. I suggest it to all), but he did not return the excitement. His face was grim. Cold as stone. In almost a whisper he told me that Amulek Stone, a bright, seventeen-year-old boy and good friend of mine, was gone. Overwhelmed by the burdens he had to carry, he decided he had had enough, and he took his own life.
          It knocked me down. All I could think to do was sit with my hands cupped over my mouth and cry. Questions poured into my mind, flooding it, like a raging, unforgiving river. When I thought about my love for his family and the unimaginable grief they were experiencing, I felt like I was drowning. It took me the longest time to get a grip.
          When I pulled it together is when the magic happened. I thought hard and long about all the people I love and what makes them beautiful, and then proceeded to write emails and letters, and send chats even though it was super late at night telling those people that I love them. In that moment, I knew, more deeply than I've ever known, that life is so precious. Time seemed to stop and I was able to evaluate my life with profound clarity. Friends, I was aware of every breath entering my lungs, and I was reminded how sweet the air tastes.

And ever since that moment it has felt so great to be alive. The loss has hurt, I miss my friend, but the opportunities to celebrate life and connect with the people around me have been abundant and wonderful. I am changed, and I love each one of you whether I know you or not.

Amulek's funeral was absolutely beautiful, and it got me thinking about this project of ours. About 950 people attended. He impacted 950 people's lives in positive ways. He was outgoing, loving, and ALWAYS, ALWAYS had a smile on his face. His eulogy talked about that smile, and how energetic and friendly he was, and what a bright spot he was in all of our lives.

He left footprints in the sands of time and over 950 people love him for it. The question I've pondered from the experience is this: What will my funeral look like, what will be said, and how many people will I have reached out to?

I hope you ponder that along with me as we go about the next week.

I know this was kind of intense and perhaps saddening to you, but I decided to tell you all because hey--life is hard sometimes. It's reality. But that doesn't mean the good can't shine through even on the toughest days. :)

BONUS: A random act of hilarity - Can I just say I have the best friends ever? Check out this picture exchange between our one-and-only Sanneke, and I. It totally lifted my spirits on a rough day.

With all my love,

Julia